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Little Johnny and His Tractor Bucket Adventures  


Been There II
(@been-there-ii)
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For your enjoyment T, may your ribs hurt from chuckling.

I can't begin to tell you how many times I've walked into the bucket arms while working in the tractor engine compartment or pulling the cowling off to clean out all the acorns, chestnuts and assorted bits of mouse nesting material. Suffice to say, I do my best to remember to take my ball cap off so I can see it coming. Whacking your head this way does tend to drive your neck down between your shoulders, but aside from a little bump on your head and a stiff neck for a week, there's no real damage done.

Where I get myself into the most trouble is using the tractor bucket as a "non-OSHA approved" working platform. The 1st time I got into trouble I was working on assembling/attaching a greenhouse to my residence. Things had progressed fairly smoothly, with only a few calls to the company about their "not so concise" assembly instructions. For an extra fee, they'll send their crew to put it together for you. Since I wanted to modify a few things and well, I like a good challenge, I opted to for the DIY method.  3 days of putzing around and re-engineering, I was ready to put the last piece of "C" channel on the exposed ends of the dbl walled polycarb roof panels. The instructions said to fill the 16 ft piece of"C" channel w/ silicone calk and push it onto the ends of the roof panels. Sounded simple enough, right?

So, I laid the final piece of my 3 day puzzle across the tractor and started to fill it in w/ calk. I get about 3/4 of the way done, run out of calk. Back into the house, search through my assortment of unused calk tubes for the right stuff. Find one, head back out, pull the utility knife out of my pocket and drop it. I bend over to grab it, stand back up and catch the channel with my shoulder. "C" channel slide off and into the dirt. (I still sigh when I think about it) Did I mention it was at the end of the day, with about 1/2 hr of daylight left and I was thinking I'd finish before I quit for the night? ...and I'm HUNGRY!

I mutter some things, pick it up and start picking all the grass, leaves and sticks out of the silicone. I declare "close enough for government work", finish laying in the calk and get ready to stick it on the edge. It's summer, it's getting dark fast and the mosquitoes are starting to swarm.  I crawl up on my movable work platform(tractor bucket) and I start working the channel onto the edge. Things are a little slippery due to the silicone debris picking and reworking. But hey, things are progressing and I can almost taste dinner. Smack a few mosquitoes, wiggle channel on, move tractor to next panel. I have everything in complete control...until the last panel. As I work the last few inches on one the the blood sucking bitches pokes a hole in my upper lip. I can't stop myself from reaching to smack it. And then the fun begins.

Holding the channel in place w/ just one hand does not cut it, the far end starts to pop off. (fill in you fav expletive) Reaching and hoping I can save it, alas, things head south at light speed. Now I'm standing in the bucket, that due to a hill, I had to line up perpendicular to the greenhouse roof edge. About then is when the light speed suddenly switches into slow motion and you know its about to come unglued, literally. 

As I watch the channel pop off and starts to bend because I'm only holding the one end, knowing I can't unbend the the channel and not wanting to drop it into the grass and dirt again, my common sense is being overridden by the "Hell No! I am NOT going to start over again!" side of my brain and I stepped off into space, because I had the bucket oriented parallel to the roof for all the previous work. 

Did I mention, due to the hill, I had the tractor bucket about 4 feet in the air? Seems like a very short fall, but as you know, you have all the time in the world to think, "Man, this is probably gonna hurt!" Interestingly, when you step off into nothing at that height, while reaching out, you can damn near get horizontal to the ground before you hit. Luckily, I hit pretty much flat. Didn't mess up my back any worse than it already was, neck didn't hurt too bad. Glasses weren't bent too much. 

Picked up the channel, turned the hose on to wash all the silicone off and called it a night. Next day, I cut the channel into 4, 4' pieces and stuck it on each sheet, no problem. Two days after finishing, I noticed my teeth weren't feeling right, the bite was off. Called the dentist, went on in for an x-ray. Apparently I hit hard enough that I cracked my one back molar and it was starting to abscess. He put me on an antibiotic and set me up w/ an oral surgeon for a root canal.

haha And the shin incident was an even stupider move, but way less expensive.

 


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Tsuga
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Geez BT, I thought I did stupid stuff.  Well, I do, but nothing I ever did tops that. And yes, I was laughing and holding my ribs at the same time.  I let my brother and grandson read this and then my wife came in and saw us all laughing so I let her read it.  I hope you dont mind.  I did tell her that you are also a Marine and her comment was "that explains it all". Interesting take on how things slow down when you're in mid-air.  A few years back I decided to buy my wife a new washer and dryer and I'd figured I'd save a few bucks and deliver it myself.  I rented a dolly and off I went on my adventure. My truck had a lift gate so things went very well for me.  I got the washing machine on the dolly, strapped it in; and proceeded to tote the whole works to the top of the basement......and that's where all hell broke loose.  I eased it down the first step and never calculated for the weight of the washer shifting forward and me being catapulted over the washer and down the steps.  There was so much time to think things over while I did my dance with the washer.  I remember thinking of all the people I SHOULD have called to help but didnt and i also remember thinking that when i got to the bottom of the steps i needed to roll clear of the washer before it landed on me.  Bart Conner never executed a tuck and roll as expertly as I did.  As i recall, I got help bringing the dryer down.  

We're hammering the togue and perch up here on the lake.  The guys took my ice shack out in the lake for me and the three of us spent quite a bit of time fishing the other day.  My brother doesnt quite understand the logic behind putting a 12x14 building on the ice, getting into the building, drilling holes in the ice, and then building a fire in the woodstove and then cooking backstrap on the propane stove and feasting on vension all afternoon.  What could possibly go wrong?? 


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Been There II
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No problem T, show anyone you want. I'm older now and way smarter. HA! I shared my story with you and the rest of the board for a couple of reasons:

1) To give you a little comic relief.

2) Folks reading might remember to stay focused when it's past chow time and you really, really want to finish a job before the light runs out. Kind of like the "one more run before we head home" down a ski slope when you know you're too tired. Seems as though that spectacular, snow eating, wipe out just lurks in the moguls for that split second of distraction.

The hard water guys in this area haven't had much of a go as yet. Every time it starts to freeze, following week is in the 40s/50s.  haha Let your brother stand out on the ice in the wind for a while, he'll soon see the logic of 4 walls, a roof and a heater.


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Tsuga
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BT: Ive been wanting to respond to this for a couple of days now but I keep getting distracted by the Ukrainian women dating site on here.  Ah Man.......I forgot what i wanted to say.  Hang on.......I'll be right back


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Been There II
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Ya know, I was just starting to think you went AWOL or worse yet, had some kind of complication. 

While I was laying on my back under the tractor the other day, bolting the sub frame on for the blower.  Yes, I am a little ahead of schedule, it was a good 15 deg above 0, but figured the way the wind was howling, I'd get my fingers numbed up in no time. So anyway, while I was hoarking on bolts, waiting for the wrench to slip, I was mulling over you're whole washer/dryer escapade. You mean to tell me you gave your Frau a new washer AND dryer, for no particular reason? Birthday? 50th wedding anniversary? Christmas? There ya go, karma bit you in the ass for making the rest of us guys look bad!

My other thought was, I can't ever remember eating lake trout. How do they compare to brookies? I like catching browns and 'bows, but don't care for their taste. Same for the Pacific salmon here in the lake. If I'm looking for a fish dinner, I go brookie fishing.


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Tsuga
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Nothing compares to brookies.  Lake trout......meh.  Perch aint too bad.


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Tsuga
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Posted by: Been There II

Ya know, I was just starting to think you went AWOL or worse yet, had some kind of complication. 

While I was laying on my back under the tractor the other day, bolting the sub frame on for the blower.  Yes, I am a little ahead of schedule, it was a good 15 deg above 0, but figured the way the wind was howling, I'd get my fingers numbed up in no time. So anyway, while I was hoarking on bolts, waiting for the wrench to slip, I was mulling over you're whole washer/dryer escapade. You mean to tell me you gave your Frau a new washer AND dryer, for no particular reason? Birthday? 50th wedding anniversary? Christmas? There ya go, karma bit you in the ass for making the rest of us guys look bad!

My other thought was, I can't ever remember eating lake trout. How do they compare to brookies? I like catching browns and 'bows, but don't care for their taste. Same for the Pacific salmon here in the lake. If I'm looking for a fish dinner, I go brookie fishing.

I bought them cause she told me I had to.  Please dont tell me you're not PW'd.  I aint buying it.  Did you guys get that artic blast the past few days??  It got down to minus 30 here last night......colder than an old whore's heart


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Been There II
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Just got the edge of the blast, 3 brrrlow this morning. Knew I should have waited to put the blower on, this morning would have been prime!

Huh, always thought as they aged, the entrepreneurs of commercial R&R got friendlier....that and the day before pay day.


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Been There II
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Oh yeah, no won't deny it. Just last night Little Suzy and I were watching a movie and some clown stood his female friend up to go "hang with the guys". Sue looked at me and said, "What guy is going to turn down sex to hang w/ his guy friends?" My reply, "No guy in his right MIND!"  lol Yes, it was the right thing to say.


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