I was late to the grocery store this morning, so the little ol' ladies were out in full force. Heading down the snack and drink aisle looking for munchies for Sun. night, I grabbed the last two bags of Doritos 2/$5 as one of the afore mentioned ladies ran her cart into the back of my ankle and glared at me. As I tried to move out of her way, she snarls "You took the last of 'em."  Under normal circumstances, I'd have offered her one of the bags. But since she, as far as I was concerned, dinged my ankle on purpose and had a bit of an attitude, I flippantly said "The early bird gets the chips" and moved off down the aisle.  

I was a few steps away from her, when my senses started tingling. I turned just as she launched a bottle of something at me. I ducked but she still caught me in the shoulder. Luckily for me it was a..... soft drink.